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People pleasing: what it is and what to do to break the vicious circle

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What is people pleasing? This is a behavior, sometimes unconscious, that some people practice on a daily basis.

People pleasing is not a real psychological disorder, but it can be considered a modus operandi that a person puts into practice on a daily basis, sometimes unconsciously. Let's see how it manifests itself and what are the alarm bells to take into consideration.

People pleasing: the most obvious signs

With people pleasing we indicate a psychological condition that pushes people to please and indulge others, even when certain actions go against their desires. In essence, therefore, the subject who defines himself as a people pleaser has a huge need to please those around him, so much so that he can annihilate himself. By acting in this way, he believes he is more appreciated and accepted.

On the surface, those who embrace people pleasing seem extremely kind and helpful, but a closer eye immediately notices that it goes beyond that. The person who behaves in this way, in fact, cannot refuse the requests of others or set them limits. Therefore, he also finds himself in situations that he is unable to deal with or that he would never want to live. In the long run, attitudes of this type can have repercussions both on the body and on the mind of the people pleaser . Generally, the most obvious signs of this condition are:

  • difficulty saying no;
  • always be in agreement with everyone;
  • tendency to apologize all the time or too often;
  • personality that changes according to the people around them;
  • avoidance of confrontations and conflicts;
  • continuous search for gratification.

People pleasing: how to break the vicious circle

The people pleaser can be considered immersed in a real vicious circle, which needs to be stopped as soon as possible. Those who continually experience pressures of this type, in fact, manifest : stress, anxiety , frustration, inadequacy, generalized fatigue, anger, resentment and problems in relationships. As also pointed out by Matilda De Angelis , who has been fighting against people pleasing for some time, the most effective way to deal with the disorder is to ask for help from a psychotherapist with a cognitive behavioral approach.

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