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Philophobia: what it is and how to manage it


Philophobia is a real fear of love. Let's find out together why it occurs, how to recognize it and what to do to fix it.

When we talk about philophobia we mean a real fear linked to love and the thought of committing ourselves to someone. It is a real problem which, as such, is fully part of a phobia.
Often underestimated or unrecognized, it can make the lives of those who experience it really difficult.
For this reason it is very important to learn to recognize it and, immediately after, to treat it.

Philophobia: from meaning to symptoms

Let's start with the very term of philophobia and the meaning of this word. In fact, the term derives from the Greek "philos" which means love and from "phobia" which, as we all know, describes the fear or anxiety of binding to something. As already mentioned, it is therefore a real phobia which as such has very specific symptoms and which can be really useful to learn to recognize.


Going, therefore, to the symptoms of philophobia, these are very similar to those experienced for any other similar disorder. They can therefore be summarized in:

– Tachycardia
– Sense of suffocation
– Nausea
– Dizziness
– Excessive sweating
– Gastric disorders
– Vomit
– Diarrhea

These, in the case of philophobia, tend to manifest themselves even at the thought of becoming romantically involved with someone . In other cases, however, they can appear when this happens and you already live in a couple relationship. Not infrequently, this phobia tends to make itself more alive in the Valentine's Day period in which love is predominant, remembering all that it entails in those who fear it.

It is therefore a fear of loving and being loved at the same time. Fear that manifests itself together with the feeling of suffocation, especially when a possible relationship seems to become more and more serious and lasting.

As is often the case, there are therefore different levels of phobia. Thus, if on the one hand there are people who, despite everything, manage to establish relationships , except feeling bad when they become more important, others completely avoid relationships at risk of feeling.

Situations that hurt equally because those who experience them, in reality, dream of a life together. But he finds it impossible to live it because of the very strong and mixed emotions he feels about it.

How to deal with philophobia

This problem should first of all be recognized. Only by becoming aware of it is it possible to deal with it in the correct way. The first thing to do is to go back to the causes that led to living with the fear of loving. Often these are linked to a particular traumatic event or to a series of micro events that have conditioned the vision of love itself. Then there are genetic and environmental factors that should be considered and which can increase the problem by increasing the symptoms.

A person who felt abandoned as a child, for example, can develop a fear of loving and feeling loved because doing so could lead to disappointment and, therefore, to a new cause of suffering. Here, then, that to solve this problem it is very useful to contact a psychotherapist. In this way, in fact, it is possible to study an action plan that is linked to the causes that have led to philophobia.

Whether it's a normal path made of words, one aimed at investigating within oneself or the most recent ASMR technique aimed at resolving identified and present traumas, the result will still be positive. Once the problem has been addressed and following all the small steps needed to get back to normal, those suffering from philophobia will in fact be able to love and feel loved again without the fear of being sick and without feeling suffocated, anxious or other negative symptoms. All for a definitely better and more fulfilled and healthy relational life than ever.

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